Wedding Basics

During this episode I really got acquainted with recording and with talking to invisible people - that's you, listener…

HOW MUCH DOES A WEDDING COST?

The average wedding in Minnesota is $28,000 currently, but your wedding isn't average is it? Your wedding will depend on your budget and what kind of wedding you want. You can keep your wedding cost lower by making wise decisions like, maybe, having a buffet for your dinner, or picking a dress that costs less than $5k, like at David's Bridal. You could also keep your wedding cost lower by having someone else pay for your wedding... like your parents.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PLAN A WEDDING?

Most people take between 6 months to a year from when they get engaged to when they actually get married. However, wedding planning can take as long as you want it to. If you want a stress free engagement, maybe more than six months, but if you're having a small wedding, then you don't need a year to plan. There are less details and less things (less people) to manage.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WEDDING PLANNER, A COORDINATOR THAT MY VENUE PROVIDES, AND A DAY OF COORDINATOR?

A wedding planner works specifically with you to plan a wedding, to help you find vendors, to design your wedding- making sure the decor matches your aesthetic. They are concerned with your entire day- from start to finish. They are also concerned with the day before your wedding (your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner).

You may also have an On-Site Coordinator, provided by your venue. More than likely their number one concern is the venue, they want to ensure the lights are on and the toilets are working. They want to make sure you leave on time, and they are very concerned with the amount guests might be drinking. They work for the venue, and working with you is just an added bonus.

Some really great on-site coordinators will also care about the flow of your day. They will get there early, check in on you, bring you water. They will make sure that if you need anything, they can be there and provide assistance. PLEASE NOTE: Only some are like that. Some on-site coordinators totally go above and beyond. They will help you create a general timeline for when you are at the venue. They won't necessarily help you if you are not getting ready at the venue, or provide you with transportation timelines or ideas for getting to the venue.

THERE LIES THE DIFFERENCE

A Day of Coordinator will work with you before the wedding on the timeline and they will help you determine the right amount of time for each thing that's happening. They will attend and run your rehearsal (which is a must if your officiant is a novice). On the day of the wedding they are basically a cruise director, but on land. They are the ones who everyone will go to with questions like, 'where are the extra napkins?', 'where do I plug in ?' and 'what's for dinner?', etc. They go to your day of coordinator instead of going to the you, the bride or the groom, or even your other important family members who are also trying to enjoy this amazing and fun day.

Day of coordinating is a part of wedding planning - it is included, but it can also be separate if you think you can handle planning on your own. Which you could, especially if you are subscribed to Under the Veil on Apple Podcast.

HOW DO I FIND VENDORS?

A lot of finding the right vendor is being education on what a good vendor is, what do you actually need and what you can actually afford. A wedding planner certainly comes in handy when it comes to this part.

Another part of it is finding vendors and asking the right questions. Websites like the Knot and Perfect Wedding Guide can be huge helps, but also rely on social media. Looking on Instagram for some inspiration can lead you right to the right vendors.

QUICK SIDE NOTE: WHAT ARE THE BASICS OF A WEDDING?

• You 'get ready' in the morning.

• You might have a first look.

• You have pictures with your bridal party.

• Next comes the ceremony, you know, you get married

• Then, somehow, you'll greet your guests individually, likely with a recieving or a dismissing line.

• That transitions you into the reception

• Your reception includes food (appetizers, dinner and dessert), libations (a cash bar, an open bar, signature cocktails, a champagne toast) and dancing

HOW DO I KNOW IF A VENDOR IS A GOOD FIT FOR ME?

The best way to get to know vendors is to meet with them and ask them questions that reveal their personality.

Let's say you're looking at a photographer, for sure do an in person consultation with them. See if your personalities vibe. See if they laugh at your jokes, if you have jokes. Do you have things in common, do you like the way they talk about your wedding and their role in it?

Reading reviews is also a great way to see if a vendor is a good fit. But, make sure you take the good with the bad. Someone might negatively review something that the vendor had no control over. Take it with a grain of salt. Actually read what they're saying.

Do you have a vendor that you've already booked, that you adore? Ask them for suggestions for the vendors you still need to book. Since you like that booked vendor, you will likely like their friends. Plus, there is nothing better than a wedding full of vendors who all get along. They end up working better and harder to make your day the best it can be. SWEET.

I'M ENGAGED! WHAT SHOULD MY FIRST STEPS BE?

CELEBRATE!! You just got engaged! If you drink, have some champagne. Tell people, take a picture of your ring. Soak in the moment.

DON'T PANIC

Take a day, a week, a month, however long you feel necessary, to be excited that you are now engaged. That's what your Pinterest board is for. Take time to pin stuff and to be excited!!

Then, once you are back to your regular sleep-wake cycle, really dive in to it. Pick a planner, photographer, or venue first and then things will fall into place. Also.. maybe picking a day is important? I mean, maybe?

Be flexible about your wedding date because what happens if your dream venue or photographer isn't available for that day? Be flexible about the date and even about the venue.

Celebrate your engagement right off the bat and stay happy. There is no reason to panic. You have the love of your life right beside you wanting to spend the rest of their life with you. What could be better?